It’s all ‘change’ for Rishi Sunak and me

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In the wake of Rishi Sunak’s declaration that he intends to be the “change” candidate at the next election, I have decided to be the change columnist.

Sunak’s strategists have recognised that voters are very keen to see a change of government and so the prime minister has concluded he must persuade voters that he represents the change they are seeking. To that end, he has rubbished the way politics was done for the past three decades, using the word “change” at least 30 times in his speech to his party conference. If he can just convince the public that he is, in fact, the change, then everything can stay the same. One has to admire the vision — though there is irony in the party that is proudly pushing back against trans rights self-certifying itself as the change option.

We can all learn from this technique. I have, after all, been writing for the FT Weekend Magazine for some time. Perhaps you feel it is time for something different? Well, I respect your views and so, from today, I am that change. To those who would ask, “Can you really be that change?”, let me answer you directly: Yes, I can.  

As part of the process, I will be using the word change a lot during this column, sometimes about me and, at other times, just throwing it into a sentence to ensure that it is the word you most associate with my writing. Sometimes the word will pop up almost subliminally so you don’t even realise I’ve been putting the idea into your head. CHANGE. Perhaps I will try out some different sentence structures. I may be wearing a new jacket while I write. You may not always notice the change but, trust me, it’s really significant.

I will also be practising this at home, where my wife and the spawn have had to put up with the same old husband and father for decades. Henceforth, I will be the change husband and father. And, frankly, my wife could do with someone a little easier on the eye at home. So I will be changing into someone who looks like Chris Hemsworth, though this change is mainly on the inside. But I’m confident that knowing I look like Chris Hemwsorth on the inside will bring about other significant change behaviours, which my family will also detect.

And I want them to know that what has gone before — that was the old failed way of being me. They can now look forward to a wholly new and changed me, even if I still don’t get around to fixing the broken towel rail. In fact, as part of the new me, I may declare the towel rail repair project unsustainable and suggest we spend the money on a fire pit instead.

As part of the change husband agenda, I would like to start by disavowing the silver-grey paint that was chosen for the hallways by my predecessor me. At the time, it felt calm and classy. But now I see it was just another example of the failed home furnishing choices that have left our household at the mercy of Farrow & Ball, Little Greene and Laura Ashley. We can no longer settle for calm colours. The great challenges we face as a household demand primary colours: electric blue, flaming red, migraine orange. Or possibly a slightly less silver grey.

Of course, the political model is much more complicated, because leaders are often sending out contrary messages. Sunak’s rival Sir Keir Starmer, for example, is keen to be the change candidate while also reassuring voters that nothing will change too dramatically, or that if it does it will definitely be in a way that they like. He is, in other words, the candidate of huge yet unthreatening change.

But anyway, I’ll be rolling out the new “change” me over the coming weeks. I’m sure you’ll like him more than the old, discredited me. As part of this programme of change, you’ll be seeing a new, far tougher me — one not afraid to add bold subjunctives to sentences or of slipping in the odd gerund where the situation demands. I will not shy away from these tough decisions, even though they may be unpopular. So let us go forward together. Reassuringly different and yet disconcertingly the same. Embrace the change.

Email Robert at robert.shrimsley@ft.com

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